after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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