I hate your face
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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