I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
