If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
