she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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