She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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