i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
