How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
