You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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