My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
