Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
