Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
