so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
