Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
