Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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