i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
