I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
