she was so not down for the gang bang
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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