Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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