There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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