i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
