Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
