Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
