OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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