Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
