And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
