Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
