Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He better not be in your backpack
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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