No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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