The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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