this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I need mimosas to revive my soul
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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