I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
