So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
