I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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