i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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