I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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