nut hugger
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
