Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
