His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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