if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
