For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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