I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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