Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
