So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
