when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
