hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
