i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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