All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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