he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's on the porch naked. Help.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
