He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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