he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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